In theory, practice and theory are the same.
In practice they aren’t.
Yogi Berra
Archive for December, 2008
QUOTE: On Theory and Reality
Sunday, December 21st, 2008‘Politically Correct’ Holiday Greetings
Saturday, December 20th, 2008
Editor’s Note: Below is an edited version of a story I wrote in 2007 – I don’t intend to edit or rewrite this particular piece again but hope to reference back to it as the years pass by. Changes made include grammar, contextual, intent, and situational edits. The original Politically Correct Holiday greetings post can be referenced here.
In today’s society, everything seems to be too politically correct (PC) – especially when it comes to contentious issues, such as ‘religious’ holidays, especially those in December. Please use Bogopolis.com‘s guide below to wish a person a ‘PC’ Christmas.
Happy Winter Solstice
This greeting allows a person to be non-descript (and non-committal) in their season greeting. Alternatives to this may include, Happy Winter Festival Season or Happy Wintertime. The latter allows you to be as generic as possible and not offend somebody who might take offense to Wiccan (read: religious) connotations of the first two.
Happy [insert religious holiday here]
Many will use other religious holidays to reference the Christmas holiday, thus making the situation in of itself politically incorrect. These holiday greetings could include: Happy Hannukah, Happy Eid ul-Adha, and Merry Kwanzaa. While respectful in their own rights – when combined with Christmas these greetings may come off as politically incorrect and cause tension if a person wants to separate holidays and traditions. (It’s probably best to keep the greetings separate and find a better way to say what you want to say.)
Happy Boxing Day
First off, Boxing day is an England tradition. Second, does anybody really care what Boxing Day is? That’s what I thought…
Happy Yuletide Season with wishes of warmth and joy
Seriously, that is way too long and a little not with the times. Others that don’t correctly fit, include: Happy New Years (skip the week and season altogether), Happy National Purchasing Season, Happy Saturnalia Day, and Happy (Baby) Jesus Day. (Actually, the last one is ‘the same’ as Christmas but may be less offensive to to those who wish to depolarize Christmas as a religious holiday.)
Happy Holidays
This seems to be the most popular choice of those, in America, who the Mexicans call Personas de Policticos Incorrecto (people who are incorrect – OK, I may have just made that up…). This greeting allows co-workers, shop owners, baristas, bloggers, journalists, commentators, sportscasters, talk show hosts, everyday people, cab drivers, bell ringers, ticket counter agents, restaurant workers, well-wishers on the streets, and you and I to say what we want to say without taking a chance to say what we really want to say regarding the holiday season. However, Bogopolis.com believes that even this term in of itself is politically incorrect. This greeting forces us to dumb down our traditions, shopping behaviors, our personal preferences, our faith – to a global level eliminating everything that our world stands for: diversity.
As an alternative, Bogopolis.com offers the following way to wish a person a Merry Christmas and still be politically correct:
Merry Christmas!
Over the centuries, Christmas has lost a lot of it’s religious meaning and become more of a secular holiday in today’s global marketplace. Yes, Christmas is a religious holiday in which Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, who we believe to be our savior – but the global truth is that we were not the first ones to claim a winter holiday for our religion. Christmas has become and continues to be a global holiday, which means something different to everybody. Christmas should not be recognized as a mere Christian holiday, but as a celebration of family, a time we celebrate the past year with loved ones and prepare for the new. Christmas is truly about love (and let’s not forget about receiving gifts!) and the time we have with each other.
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Winter Weather Etiquette
Saturday, December 20th, 2008NOTE: A special shout-out to Matt Shemwell for his insistence and encouragement for helping me to repost soon.
After two winter ‘storms’ in New York and back by popular demand – I present the 2008/2009 Winter Weather Etiquette lesson from Bogopolis.com.
Lesson #1: Never use an umbrella in a snowstorm.
Lesson #2: Never break lesson number one.
I don’t think umbrellas should be used in snowy weather. I thinks it’s an abomination and extreme misuse of the umbrella apparatus when it is used in snowy weather. I have made my point several times here on Bogopolis and I don’t need to reiterate my points but I still must say that I don’t understand the use of umbrellas in regards to snowy weather.
I get that people don’t like snow getting on their faces or getting slightly wet but isn’t that the point of snow?
Snow is not rain – there is no need to treat it the same.
Enjoy the weather but remember the appropriate attire.
I’m working on a project that …
Sunday, December 7th, 2008I’m working on a project that might help organizations to keep track of their current/past members in an extremely cool way!
2008 in Closing
Saturday, December 6th, 2008In my inbox this morning:
Dear All,
As we are nearing the end of 2008 I thought I would wish you a pleasant and successful final phase with great dreams for 2009. My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year……..
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program….
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with an aftershave sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan ..
Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.
And thanks to your great advice,
I can’t even pick up the £50.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician’s relative once removed.